Ok so I normally limit my posts to being about books. And when I say normally, I mean all 5 or 6 of my pathetically small pile. Today, though, I have something on my mind and I want to speak it publicly but not aggressively. It is a little worrying to me how much of my mind is taken up with thoughts related to what I read on social media, so hopefully spilling my guts will help me get back to studying.
Background: As so often happens in the mornings, I checked my email (nothing exciting) then scrolled through the news feed on my facebook. This morning a very large number of people had matching profile pictures which I quickly determined were to show solidarity with folks who strive for marriage equality. And then drama ensued.
I don't like getting caught up in such stuff. Sometimes I think it's because it can only be divisive and is thus unproductive, but sometimes I worry it's because I'm a coward who wants to please everybody. There are people entrenched very deeply on both sides of this issue of varying connection to me, whose opinion I value, whom I would not wish to offend. Typically, I keep my mouth shut, figuring that opening it will only cause everyone to scream louder. This was demonstrated for me quite plainly when someone I lost touch with commented on something I posted in a way that made me think they'd misunderstood. (I don't think women should be required to get transvaginal ultrasounds for non-medical reasons nor do I think it's up to a committee of men to decide such things) Conversations like marriage rights, female reproductive rights, health disparities, and such are better as face to face conversations between people with emotions in check and probably discussing over a coffee and delicious baked treat (alternatively at a bar with a large number of very stiff drinks). Written word (like facebook, blogs, books. the Bible) is so often misconstrued, which leads me to my unofficial, ill-formed thesis:
It is possible to be a "Christian" and disagree with "Christians"
I tried to make it more specific but I can't without deviating towards self-defense. I do feel a bit defensive. It hurts to scroll down the internet and see some people bemoaning the falling ideals and standards of our God-fearing nation, interspersed with angry and sarcastic jabs at stupid, hypocritical, superstitious tight wads trying to oppress the world. Both sides stab towards me. I see no reason that the benefits of federally recognized marriage should be limited to relations between people of opposite sex only. I believe in God and read the Bible (sometimes...) and I flatter myself to think I have some intelligence (even if it took some time to prove it to the medical school admissions folks). I don't like the implication that I view myself as Judge'n'Jury over how God interprets the actions of my fellow man. I also don't like being told that I'm not a REAL christian. I am a part of a very broken body and I do not seek to cut off those who disagree with me because then it would not be much of a body. It'd probably be less than an organelle. (oooh histology! It's working! I'm studying!) I know I am not the only one who feels this way on both points, because I see these people on facebook too, even if they're quiet like me.
Truly, the majority of what I see is supportive, nonjudgmental, and constructive; yet the few jabs from either side are louder than all the rest no matter how much I try to tune them out. (I don't want to imagine how painful said jabs would be if I was a victim of social oppression. I know I'm one lucky chick) To get personal, I believe in a Creator who I call God and I believe God loves God's Creation and meant it for good. The lines get fuzzy right around this next part but somehow the creation got off track from good, but God was willing to sacrifice Godself, so this creation would be able to experience Creation as it was meant. By that last sentence I mean I believe that Jesus was God-and-man and died and beat death and lived again to show that even the finality of death cannot bind God. So whatever binds the creation to separate it from the Creator, God can beat that too. I really don't care if you believe that with me. I have no idea what will happen to you or me when our bodies quit functioning. Maybe I'm just not the "evangelical" type. For me, this belief means that I am free to try to find that Creation, and I think God-being-man means that at least part of it is still here. All the rest of my limited theology is an attempt to allow God to use me, to unearth that Creation, to pull out what's left. And I believe that is done solely through very active, very messy, very difficult love. And I suck at it just like you do, just like we all do.
Well now I've talked myself into a circle and out of a point, and still managed to get defensive. That wasn't my intention but I can't bring myself to delete it. Judge me how you will. Mostly, I just wanted to take this opportunity to highlight language out here in the interwebs which I feel tends towards the love I try to give and shies away from judgment. Caveat: I do not prescribe to this person's theology (just like I don't prescribe to my pastor's or my mom's). I don't actually know her theology. I just like the way she said things in this letter:
http://momastery.com/blog/ (first post)
And just because this is supposedly a blog about books, I would recommend all my avid readers to find and read Kurt Vonnegut's short story "Harrison Bergeron" (I found it for you: http://www.tnellen.com/westside/harrison.pdf) to get a feel for why the word "equality", even as in marriage equality, gives me the heebyjeebies.
